Hi friend,
“No one is impressed with your possessions as much as you are.”
I recently read The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel and while it was an easy read, there were many ideas in it that caused me pause. I shared some of my reflections on Instagram, and it seemed to resonate with many, so I thought I’d share a little more in longer-form here on my newsletter.
I’m in my 30s and at a stage of life where most of my peers (and myself) earn a comfortable salary. Gone are the days of student budgets and long bus rides for the sake of saving a few dollars. Many of us think about how we can use what we have to grow our wealth further, to live more comfortably, and for a better future.
No one looks at me more than me
In the book, Housel refers to a “man in the car paradox”, where he shares his observations having worked as a valet driving other’s fancy cars. Allow me to share an excerpt.
When you see someone driving a nice car, you rarely think, “Wow, the guy driving the car is cool.” Instead, you think, “Wow, if I had that car people would think I’m cool.” Subconsicous or not, this is how people think.
There is a paradox here: people tend to want wealth to signal to others that they should be liked and admired. But in reality those other people often bypass admiring you, not because they don’t think wealth is admirable, but because they use your wealth as a benchmark for their own desire to be liked and admired. >
You know how when you look at a group photo, your eyes immediately begin scanning for your own face? And then you start to criticise how weird your expression was or the angle was “off”? (At least that’s true for me.) It’s such a stark reminder of our natural bent to give ourselves more attention than anyone else does, the spotlight effect.
As a Christian, I find great purpose and comfort in the fact that this life is not about me. There is no need to be better known or better liked, nor to change the world with my own hands. Instead, I can surrender and allow myself to be used by God so that even as I struggle with thinking that the spotlight is on me, I can remember that my purpose is to shine the spotlight on Him. In so doing, I can focus on becoming more transparent and invisible, so that the light might shine through more and more.
While it may seem horrific to be diminishing, the crazy thing is that things in God’s kingdom often work upside down. Life becomes more abundant when it’s more of Him, less of me. For He works for His glory and my good, and as this beautiful Cityalight song puts it, His glory is my good.
Real wealth can’t be seen
Wealth is the assets you haven’t converted into what can be seen. If you spend money on things, you end up with the things and not the money.
The author argues that there is a need to build up wealth — that cannot be seen — as this builds financial resilience and the ability to weather hardship or change course down the road. Making a show of wealth merely depletes it, and weakens one’s position.
As I reflected on this idea, I wondered how this applies to time, given that it is a resource that each of us has the same amount of. Sure, inequity in the world means that some of us trade our time for more returns than others, but on a day to day, each of us is making a choice as to where we spend that 24 hours that we have. Unlike money, time cannot be accumulated. It moves at a pace of 60 minutes an hour, and today’s unused minutes can’t roll over to tomorrow.
In our productivity-driven society, it’s all about maximisation — how I can get the most out of my time. Yet, treating each minute as a resource to optimise can detract from living it. I wonder how many hours we squander in the name of a “better life”, failing to realise the cost of all the life we are giving up.
Being reasonable vs rational
In his book, Housel also puts forth the idea that aiming to be coldly rational is not possible, because humans are not rational beings. In terms of investment strategy, he theorises that people don’t actually want the mathematically optimal strategy. They want the strategy that maximises for how well they sleep at night. This, he says, is being reasonable, as opposed to rational.
Us “educated folk” like to think that we are very logical, and make decisions that have been thoroughly investigated and ventilated. I mean, don’t you read all the reviews and try to look up third party information before committing to purchasing a new vacuum cleaner?
Yet, take a step back, and look again. Perhaps we aren’t all as logical as we think we are. A certain brand we had an experience with may give us some measure of bias for or against it. The colours available for another model might also sway us.
It is a part of human nature to be able to “prove” anything once we’ve decided on it. Logic is helpful in bolstering arguments after we’ve decided where we want to land.
I think that Housel’s admonition is an implicit recognition of the fact that we are all driven by our loves, rather than our brains. We think with our heads, and this is very helpful to us, but ultimately, we lead with our hearts — how and what we love.
How then, do we ensure that we make good decisions? By training our will to be able to make the tough choices, and by instructing our conscience on what is good and right.
Further up and further in,
P.S. The last bit of the newsletter is a little introduction to some ideas of Charlotte Mason’s philosophy of education (which is really a philosophy of life), which we will be diving deep into in The Ordinary Matters starting July 2025. Hit reply to learn more, or join the waitlist to be first to know when doors open!
From my commonplace
“
Unfortunately, however, our response to its loveliness is not always delight: it is, far more often than it should be, boredom. And that is not only odd, it is tragic; for boredom is not neutral — it is the fertilizing principle of unloveliness.
— Robert Farrar Capon, The Supper of the Lamb
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